Published June 11, 2010
I am no poet, but this just came to me. Yes, I know it's short, but I decided to keep it so because the quality of it was unusually high for my own poetry standards.
Storms
By Romance Otaku ( http://romanceotaku.com/ )
The sky seems so far away tonight
As if running away from those who share its light
Twisting, turning, crying
Nobody asks it what's wrong
Nobody cares to sing it a song
I offer it my hand
But it's afraid my gesture will turn to sand
As I walk through the rain
Am I the only one who can sense its pain?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,638 Literary Works • 673,575 Reviews
I also enjoyed reading this very much. Sounds like there's a poet inside you waiting to come out! I must agree with what was said earlier about rhyme schemes. It did occasionally feel forced in this poem, especially since the one line that ends in "crying" is the only line that doesn't have rhyme with another line. Rhyming truly is overrated in poetry. I think it's all about the rhythm, and you've definitely got some of that going on. Keep up the good work.
Wow, I really liked this one. It was different, but very interesting and I liked it really much. And the "Twisting, Turning, Crying" part was very clever, good work. You shouldnt be a No-poet, you should be Poet. So, yes, you should keep writing
// Hugs and Hearts from Sagaa
This was very good!
Way above what one would expect from a "not-poet." 
I loved the way this flowed, it has a nice rhythm, so good job there. The only thing I would point out is that poetry isn't all about rhyming, and sometimes I could feel it being a little forced here. It's better to not have a rhyme then to have a forced one.
Anyways.
Great job. If you ever need any tips, just PM me.
-Mizz
There is not much to critique on this. It's really good, for a not-poet that is.
I could only advise to make it longer, but you said you would rather not so I guess that I can still only say one thing about it. It's cool. Keep up the good work. 